I have just finished reading Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘The Power of now’ and if you aren’t too familiar with the text yourself, I suggest purchasing this life-changing book of knowledge. After all, there is no better time than the present.
One of the best, unforeseen consequence of simplifying our complicated lives, is it has allowed us to begin living our lives in the present. Choosing to live in the past or the future, doesn’t just rob us of what is going on in front of our eyes, but it robs us of our time…our lives!
As humans, we naturally choose to avoid the tough times and do everything in our power to make time tick by as quick as possible. However, I have learnt through many sessions of DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) as well as my own life experiences, that it is in these tough times where we are missing the true beauty of the world. If you can only live one moment at a time, you may as well make it the present.
Within this blog post, I am hopefully going to provide some insight, into the possibilities of living a happier, more enjoyable life… “A life worth living!”
I am guilty of being secluded by social media and my own worries, however, on a recent trip to London I became fascinated by the experience i had just encountered. I remember sitting in the car and watching a mother and her child. At first, I was completely unaware of my infatuation however, slowly I realised that what i was so fascinated by, was the fact they were being so present with one another. There were no mobile phones or a tablet in site. Instead, they were transfixed to one another, enjoying one anothers’ company.
To some, this may seem like a simple observation. However, in todays society, so many of us are caught up in the errands of our daily lives that our true presence takes a backseat. Our worlds are constantly spinning which is no wonder, so many of us struggle to focus on the here and now. However, we need to learn to stop racing so far ahead and trying to beat everyone else and observe whats going on in our own lives. I remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare and only now at the age of 22, I am seeing that same story reiterating itself within my own life experiences. For those that are not too familiar with the story, I have included the extract below:
There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could run. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch.
Hare ran down the road for a while and then and paused to rest. He looked back at Slow and Steady and cried out, “How do you expect to win this race when you are walking along at your slow, slow pace?”
Hare stretched himself out alongside the road and fell asleep, thinking, “There is plenty of time to relax.”
Slow and Steady walked and walked. He never, ever stopped until he came to the finish line.
The animals who were watching cheered so loudly for Tortoise, they woke up Hare.
Hare stretched and yawned and began to run again, but it was too late. Tortoise was over the line.
After that, Hare always reminded himself, “Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!”
If you were to take one thing from this story, I would recommend slowing down to savour each moment. I recently learnt this skill through my dialectical behavioural therapy classes and at first, had no idea how i was going to incorporate it into my daily, busy life. However, it’s a lot simpler than it seems. Get something to eat and hold it in your mouth before chewing, then chew slowly before swallowing. Incorporate your senses, note how the food feels in your mouth and any sensations or flavours you have experienced that you may not have noticed before. It sounds silly, but honestly try it!
Another tip I believe is extremely important for learning to live in the here and now, is being attentive. It is so common for us to have ear to ear conversations whilst focusing on the thoughts in our own head, or being distracted by whats going on on the table next to us. However, this stops us from being fully present and giving the other individual our full attention. The gift of attention after all, is making a conscious effort to be present with the person we are with in that particular moment. Just by giving someone your undivided attention, will allow you to notice things you may not have noticed before. Believe me its simple, but it’s the best thing you will do all day.
I do not want to overload your brain with too much information, therefore I will provide you with one more piece of advice. This one in particular, is one which I have struggled with over the years and naturally, many of you would have too. It is the negative impact of multi-tasking. This is proven to be bad for the brain. Many of us, have this perception that multi-tasking is a good skill to have. However, no matter what gender, age or ethnicity you are, it is a fact that multi-tasking is actually a con. All you are doing is jeopardising your potential to do well.
It is best to focus on one thing at a time, as this is where our brain reaches its full capacity. It is unable to cope when too many things are going on at once. For example, cognitive tasks such as checking emails or being swarmed with notifications, ends up slowing the brain down and what we thought would be a more efficient way of getting tasks done, actually becomes a more time constraining mess. A constant need for multi-tasking leads to a rise in cortisol, the stress hormone, as well as a reduction in the part of the brain responsible for empathy and emotion. These of which are all detrimental to our stress levels, and the relationships we have with people.
This is probably one of the most difficult skills to master due to the fact, we have so many things going on in our lives. However… do it gradually and you will find it much more easier to master. Take a moment to stop and be present, even if its just for 10 more minutes than you would normally do…
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